March 30, 2021

My Obesity Experience- 2

Hi again,

Today I want to update my diary with info about how being overweight impacted my life in the past, and what have changed in my life with undergoing gastric sleeve surgery.

Due to my excessive weight, I spent most of my life isolating and hiding myself from people. Judging looks of people, their questioning without knowing its causes, mockery from their side forced me to become an antisocial person. It is not quite possible to prevent this, we can say it is a law of nature. No matter how took care of my looks, there always was a prejudice against me. At the end of the day, people are met based on our clothing, and saw off based on their talks, as a proverb says.

As I was hiding, I began missing the opportunities in my career and personal life. I had no self-confidence. For this reason, I was unsuccessful at job interviews I went to, or companies thought my weight would put them into a risk so they were reluctant to accept me for the vacancy. More than that, every company wants their employee to be an extrovert, self-confident, full of life and successful at communicative skills, which are all opposite of what I was. For this reason, I was late for many life opportunities. My career began after I underwent gastric sleeve surgery. Right now I am pacing forward on my career path with confident steps. My only big regret is not undergoing this surgery earlier, the surgery that helped me got rid of my excessive weight which ruined my life.

The reason I was separated from many people in my personal life was my weight. At least this is what they told me. These people were the only reason why I built high walls around my life and cannot knock these walls down although I weigh 72 kg at the moment. If only I had undergone this surgery earlier, I would have less trauma caused by my obesity. However I still thank God for my current state. I think I caught the tail of my life while not missing most of it. But still, it seems it will take some time for the wounds to heal, the wounds which myself and other people opened due to my weight. Right now it is very difficult for somebody enter my life. Due to the fact that people judged me and cut ties with me based on my appearance, my trust to other people was completely damaged. While I continue my life with firm steps, I am trying to treat my wounds.

In my opinion, one of the most critical steps of obesity surgery is psychological battle. It is very difficult to be in this struggle alone. I was lucky. By making some preparation prior to my gastric sleeve surgery, I overcame this period a little more easily. Also, I got to know other people who had surgery around the same time as me, and we supported one another during my treatment and recovery process. One of the most difficult parts of the procedure is finding out the contents of food for each stage and how to prepare them. In order to deal with this, I brainstormed with my friends who were having this surgery at the same time with me. Moreover, I did extensive researches, and as a result of these, I taught myself how to make delicious low-calorie meals. 1.5 years have already passed. I can prepare and eat any meal I want. Making my own food at home has turned into one of my habits and hobbies. I can regulate the content of my food, so I can make very tasty meals while enjoying it.

As a result, I am currently 72 kg, and I can cook nice things. My new habit has become very beneficial for myself and people around me. All of my friends are very satisfied with this situation. Right now I can communicate people very easily. There are still some barriers I am yet to overcome, from time to time I may struggle to express myself, nevertheless, at least I can already initiate communication and do not face judging looks of people. Very little is left. Everything will be better when I have knocked down all the barriers, when I finally leave this cocoon of mine and fly high.